Have you ever lost someone you love in death? It is a unique experience for each of us, no question. My Mom died instantly in a car accident in September of 2003 1993. She was only 52. I was 27 at the time, married with a two year old. I never appreciated how hard her death would hit me since I was an adult with my own family. I was so naive.
I really was in a fog for a year. I can remember instances when I felt like I could sleep forever and Lizbet would wake me up and say in her little voice, "I am hungry momma, are you going to make food?" There were times when the sadness was so overwhelming that I would turn to Mark and say, "I feel so bad and I want to stop but I don't know how, help me please". One time he just didn't know what to do so he suggested a walk around the block. We lived in downtown Escondido, CA at the time so it was interesting but when we got back I really still felt the same. I comforted myself with the thought that he was doing all a person could do to help someone who was grieving as I was.
Today I heard a segment on NPR's Morning Edition about grieving. The discussion was about new research into what is considered the classic stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. What stood out to me was this singular thought:
"Grief is really about yearning and not sadness," Prigerson says. "That sense of heartache. It's been called pangs of grief."
And that is SO TRUE. Head over to the NPR site and listen to the whole story yourself. It is definitely worth your while to learn about grieving even if you are not experiencing it, you may one day want to comfort someone close to you who is in pain.
Technorati tags:
grief,
yearning
